Archive for the Work Category

Depression 1001 : Work 0

Posted in Anxiety, Burnout, Coping Mechanisms, Depression, Family, Mental Health, Personal Thoughts, Reasoning, Self Doubt, The World, Work on April 28, 2017 by Neal


The last 2 months have been very strained for myself personally. Complications with work, family and myself have seen my attention to details and life in general slip. I didn’t think things were affecting me as much as they apparently were, guess that’s the old depression mind trick for you.

I’ve been trying to transfer stores so that I can be closer to home and also get a change of pace. The store I currently work in has its challenges but they tend to be the same things over and over each week. Plus being here for 2 years has started to make me a little shop blind to some obvious issues. But it would seem that my depression has finally started impacting my work. 

My first unsuccessful request was turned down due to a lack of self confidence in managing staff issues. I’m probably a bit too soft at times when it comes to staff problems. Being more assertive and knowledgable in company procedures would likely improve that aspect of myself. On top of making sure my self confidence was on the up I can see myself improving in that area for sure.

The big eye opener I had recently came in the form of a site visit by both area and state manager. The feedback I got was a real slap in the face. Several months ago the things they pulled me up on never existed. Yet despite all the effort I put into maintaining the store I had totally overlooked or dismissed the importance of some things. I could have come up with a wide range of excuses but that would have been passing the buck and not taking ownership of my own mistakes. I spent that evening mulling things over a lot as I came to realise my standards in the store had slipped, more that I had considered possible for myself.

Suffice to say this did not sit well when I tried another transfer request. I knew after the visit the chances of transfer were very slim. After all the past doesn’t count when looking at current standards. Top it off with a rather bad business audit a few months earlier and I totally get their concerns. 

So now I’ve laid out a new battle map on the table. Depression and anxiety may have me cornered but that isn’t going to stop me from fighting. I’m slowly taking back the Self-doubt pass and the Family plains are being reclaimed a bit each day. The daunting task of assaulting Mount Work has begun. I’ll break down the fortifications and reclaim my ability to work without distraction. 

This is one of the many fights ahead that I plan on winning. 

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