Archive for the Role Playing Category

Anxiety, Depression and Issues With Social Media 

Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Personal Thoughts, Role Playing, The World on December 24, 2016 by Neal

Social media is the biggest form of communication for the world since the invention of the phone. We can talk to people anytime, anywhere and they don’t even have to be available when you are. We can leave a message, post a video or photo, like or emoticon something people have put up online, blog, tweet, snapchat, FaceTime…the options are increasing every day as new technology develops. But with all the good that comes the bad. Trolls, flame wars, memes and revenge posting are just some of the negatives for the world we live in now. I’ve seen how quickly a conversation can turn nasty in a matter of minutes thanks to the anonymity of the keyboard. 

Now for me I have several issues that make it difficult to interact freely. The first is my social anxiety in which I worry about how others will view what I’ve posted. Yes that does include my blog which is why it’s taken me years to actually post stuff openly. Then there’s the negative thoughts of failure and why bother that are whispered from my depression. Now add those all to a mind which has a very ingrated tendency to internally catastrophise everything and you are probably wondering how the hell I even function. 

Strangely enough I haven’t always had issues with interaction via an online media. Many years ago I was a very active online text based role player. Instead of role playing at a table with friends I was able to play on the computer with others from around the world. My ability to express myself and be imaginative was leagues ahead of myself today. What I didn’t realise for many years was that my depression and anxiety fuelled my creative side. I used it as a way to escape things and keep myself balanced.

Life shifted and I went from part time work to fill time. My free time for role playing became sparse and over time stopped all together. That’s when depression started to make itself obvious and since then I have struggled to find that creative aspect of myself again. The last few years I have made many attempts to interact with social media but it doesn’t last long. Yes I have a twitter, Facebook, google+ and even a tumbler account. That being said I have actually started being more active in the last couple of months on Facebook than I have in the last couple of years. Not that I’m posting new stuff but I am sharing more that I see and like, working on improving my social media stamina as I call it. 

So far I haven’t had anything negative thrown at me. No trolls coming out from under the bridge as I walk across it. Given time I’m sure that will happen but then I just need to remember that social media can be a double edged sword. What may hurt me can also hurt them and in the end they are only words from someone with no willingness to learn and grow.